I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
