We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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