Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
