Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
