I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
