you would pick up someone in the library
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
