the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Randomize
