I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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