That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
well, you know. whores of a feather.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
