just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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