We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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