i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
he was CRYING into my vagina
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
