Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
