So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
