She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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