So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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