who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
