What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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