your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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