i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
