yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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