im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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