Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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