I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
You're a waste of cheezeits
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
