her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Randomize
