The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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