The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
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After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
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Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
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