at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I'm always down for nudity.
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