I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
