I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
