Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
