we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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