weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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