And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
