So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
