wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
