He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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