Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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