dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
