those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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