Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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