Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
50% drunk capacity currently
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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