I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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