I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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