I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
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She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
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My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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