I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
