yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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