A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
