We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
