Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
