Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Drunk is a universal language darling
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
