Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Randomize
