you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
