dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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