the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
