C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
