The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
