you turned your livingroom into a bong?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Is this like a preordered booty call?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
