brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
