:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
