OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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