every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
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