Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize