Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
