She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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