I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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