Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
