this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
