I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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