we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Randomize
