whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
