Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
